Pa has passed away

Well, this is a hard post to write. But, Pa passed away on Saturday, May 23rd in the evening. I just got back from being in Sanger all week for the funeral and family time. I'll start at the beginning.

I think I have written some of this before, but I'll summarize. On April 21, Pa fell getting out of the hoopie. He caught his foot under the pedal and fell. He was in terrible back pain, but didn't want to go the doctor yet. This was partly because of COVID and the fear that he would have to do it by himself and Melbo not be allowed in with him and that he would be admitted and Melbo not be allowed in with him. Also, he is an Erwin and does not panic and rush things, and he said he'd hurt his back before so he'd wait. The problem was he was in so much pain, he would throw up. And within that week, food started tasting bad and even when he would eat it, he would throw it up.

The following Monday, they went to the doctor. They gave him pain meds. He went to the back doctor the next day and after x-rays, they decided he fractured his T11. They didn't change his pain meds, but told him to go home and do the best he could and let it heal. And if he wasn't better in 3 weeks, to come back. So, they did that. The good news was that Melbo was allowed to go in with him to those appointments. GG drove them of course and took care of details, but Melbo could be with him. Because of his terrible pain and not seeing any improvement, they took him back to the back doctor (or maybe the ER?) on the 5th. They scheduled an MRI for him on the 6th and on the 7th, they called and said that actually he broke his T12. What a mess. At this point, he was able to get into GG's car and go back and forth to these appointments. So, he was in pain, but could manage enough to get around. But, he was still not eating well and still throwing up when he did try to eat. The doctor decided to schedule a back surgery to "put cement in the break". It wasn't until (despite GG calling to get more pain medicine and find out when the surgery would be) the next Friday (the 15th) that they called to schedule the surgery for June 3rd with Pre-Op on June 1st. Everyone was very frustrated that it would be so long until he could get the surgery and get relief. I really do not know why it was taking so long. Was it COVID? Was this normal? Honestly, all you can do is what doctors tell you to do. And Pa really didn't want to be admitted to the hospital, again for fear that Melbo couldn't stay with him (plus he didn't want to be there). Spirits were good at this point, although Melbo & GG both were just sad watching him in pain.

The following week, we didn't hear much from GG and I was nervous that it was because he was not doing well. I mean - you can't eat nothing and drink barely and stay strong enough for surgery. On Thursday, the 21st, GG and I visited on Marco Polo and FaceTime and she and Melbo were in good spirits. They even called to tell me about some Emergency Kits that Melbo found when she was cleaning out the close that had stuff that expired from 2010! So, I was happy to see them handling things ok. But, this is when I learned that Pa was not doing good. He either stayed in bed all day or sat in his chair all day for the past two days. His mind was fine. He could talk and chat, but he was in pain.

But, when they urged him to get up or move from bed to chair or something, he would tell him "in a minute" over and over but not get up. GG felt like he actually couldn't get up. On Tuesday or Wednesday of that week, they had to call paramedics to help him off the floor. Apparently, Melbo had gotten him into the shower and bathed him and when he got out, he sat down, but started sliding off the chair. He had no energy or strength and couldn't set himself back up. And, Melbo checked his eyes and realized he was just doped up on Codine. Melbo called for GG and they realized they couldn't pick up dead weight to get him back in the chair, so they carefully slid him to the ground. They thought they could get a better handle on him, but it was still too hard. Dad happened to stop by about that time and he couldn't get him either. They called the paramedics (at the Aubrey fire dept maybe?) to come and they were so kind and helped him. They put him in the bed. I believe it was then that he pretty much stayed there for the next 3 days. I know at one point that week, Melbo & GG had to get him into bed from his chair or just rearrange him and he couldn't move. They pushed him and got him settled, but he was just in so much pain when they would even touch him for a moment. Melbo said he had bruises everywhere and no matter where you touched him, he was in pain. It just didn't make any sense. If his back was the problem, why was he in pain everywhere?

On Friday afternoon, GG told me that they were probably going to call the ambulance to come get him and admit him to the hospital either that day or the next morning. They were just not able to take care of him and he was getting weaker. The hope was that if he was admitted, they could give him nutrition and hydration and he would be stronger so that they wouldn't delay or cancel his surgery 10 days later. They weren't feeling rushed about this; they just thought it was probably about time. Pa didn't want to go to the hospital. But, that seemed to be the best idea. However, on Saturday afternoon, GG Marco Polo'd me to say that they had gotten Pa to the living room that morning and sitting in his chair (or maybe the walker chair). And then he said he needed to go to the bathroom. Shocking them, he walked, with his walker, all the way through the house to the bathroom and then all the way back. What a surprise after not doing that for the past 3 days. Of course, this gave Melbo a little more hope and time to not put him in the hospital yet.

That evening, he'd been sleeping for awhile, but then they started to notice he wasn't breathing well. They felt a faint pulse and his heartbeat was slow. The called mom and dad who came over right away and called an ambulance. They ambulance got there, and GG said they took no time at all after seeing him to rip his shirt apart (the buttons were still on the floor for a few days) and put patches on his chest and got him out of there and to the ambulance. GG said they didn't ask questions or take vitals. She remembers either them saying some kind of code word or a certain look and they all moved fast. She said Melbo said "I think they know something we don't know" when they got out the door. So, the 4 of them followed to the hospital. They let Melbo come in to wait. GG, Mom & Dad stayed outside in the parking lot for over an hour waiting for Melbo to call to tell them the plan. They were wondering if she would be able to stay the night or not. They had Pa's suitcase packed (I think Melbo had done it earlier in the day) so he would be ready to stay too.

About 10 or so, Melbo called and told them that "he didn't make it". Shock. That was all they or any of us have felt. This was not expected. Pa was not doing good with his back, but he was healthy. And his mind was good. And he was supposed to just go into the hospital to get ready for surgery. But, he had passed.

A couple days later, Melbo said that the ER doctor came in and told her that they worked on him all the way to the hospital and then he had gotten Pa's heart started again, but couldn't keep it going. Someone, at some point, had come out to ask Melbo if they wanted him on machines (I assume machines to keep him breathing and his heart beating). Melbo told them that if it would save his life, then yes. But, he would not want to live that way. The ER Doctor was SO incredibly kind to Melbo. He asked her what she could tell him about Pa and she told him that she could tell him a lot because they had been married for 72 years. They visited and at the end, the doctor said "I can tell you are a woman of the Lord" and she said "yes, and so was he (meaning Pa)".

Mom, Dad & GG got to come in to see him in the room after he passed. I didn't know any of this was happening until about 11 when Rita text me to ask if GG was staying at the hospital with Pa? I had no idea, but text her saying I was glad that they finally took him in and hadn't hear that yet. I text mom, who I could see on Find My Friends was at the hospital. I asked her for an update when she had time. She called about 11:45 and said Pa had died. I was in shock. I couldn't believe it.

For as long as I can remember, my family was Melbo, Pa, GG, Mom, Dad, Molly, Charley & me. There are lots of Erwins. But, this was my family. Mom's side was family, but we didn't see them every week. This is my family that we spent every holiday with, and were at every important event. It was so strange to think Pa wasn't there anymore.

I'm ending this one for now and going to start another post in just a minute with the past week of funeral time and family time. I just need it separate. This was just such a hard post to write. I can't believe he is gone.