After learning this news Saturday night, I couldn't sleep. I finally took Benadryl just to get me to sleep. I woke the next morning and it dawned on me that I should go to Sanger right then. Vic had the following day off for Memorial Day. So, I loaded up Grace and she and I headed to GG's house. We got there and that is where I learned more details about the night before. There were tears, but Melbo was doing pretty good. That is also where GG said that she really thinks something else was wrong. We wonder if when he fell, there was something else damaged that might have caused his eating and vomiting issues (other than pain) and that maybe there was some internal bleeding. Why else would he be in pain all over his body? And bruising popping up so much? But, he thought it was his back that was causing all the pain and honestly, we think that's what the doctors focused on. In a way, we understand that. In another way, we wonder why they didn't look at more things on him if GG kept calling to say that he was still in pain, despite strong pain meds, and not eating. We will never know what actually happened, other than his back, the day he fell.
Grace and I spent the afternoon at GG & Melbo's house. Charley & Dad had been there most the day and Charley was finishing up the obituary. It was perfect. He did such a good job. They were going to meet at the funeral home on Tuesday morning at 9. I just wanted to be with my family. I just needed to be there. Melbo & GG were both handling things well. So sad, but ok. I was glad they weren't blaming themselves, as I was afraid they might be thinking "we should have taken him in sooner". Although I think they did think that, they were not harping on it as they both believe "God's Will be done". That's another reason I love being an Erwin - they are such true examples of God's faithfulness and plan. Part of our job that evening was to find a photo of Pa for the obituary in the newspaper and online. Everyone seemed to remember a photo of Pa on horseback, but that was up close and would be good. They remembered it framed in Melbo's house. GG thought it was up until a few years ago when they re-decorated and painted. So, we started the search of looking through photos and looking upstairs in frames and boxes. We never found it. But, we did find a handsome photo of him that we cropped from a church directory photo of he and Melbo. It was funny though; we searched for at least 2 hours for that one photo. But, it was nice to be there helping.
They invited Grace to stay the night, but she and I went back to Mom & Dad's for the night. Melbo told us Grace could just sleep with her because she had room in her bed now. Heartbreaking, but still so "Melbo" to think that way.
The next morning was pouring rain (as was the day Grace and I drove to Sanger - we even pulled over on the side of I35 at one point because it was SO hard to see through the rain). Dad & I went to the cemetery to find their plots. Back when Grandmother (or maybe Granddaddy - who were both Pa's parents) passed away, Melbo & Pa bought 4 plots at the cemetery as well. So, those were already chosen at Cooper Creek Cemetery. We finally found them and Tom Raney, who handled the cemetery stuff, even stopped by while we were there to confirm the plots. Apparently, they have records on who bought them on the front half, but they don't on the back half. So, they just hope families know. Such a small town situation (even though Denton itself is huge now). We also looked around at other Erwin's who have passed and were buried there. There are some gravestones below in the photos. We got back to Melbo's and on the way, had a phone call to tell us she needed to choose the casket online to make sure they could get it from Dallas in time for visitation on Wednesday. So, we went through that process. Everyone was in good spirits. Lots of laughter in spite of everything.
I also learned how expensive funerals and caskets and all of that can be. I think (learning later that week) that it was going to be $10-$12,000 to bury Pa. Melbo picked an Oak casket with a cross in the lid. I think it was $4500 or so- yikes. Then, the website actually broke down all expenses so you could plan. The crazy thing was they would charge $65.00 for the little book that people sign their names in at the funeral and visitation. $65? While not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, Mom did get one of Dad's leather books and put an insert in it and that's what they used. But, fortunately, Melbo & Pa worked their entire life during many decades to scrimp and save to have money today. When I was questioning the amount of money this would cost, GG brought me Melbo's checkin account bank statement and said she thought Melbo would be fine. It had $142,000 in it. And on top of that, I couldn't tell you how many CD's and savings they have spread across different banks. Melbo wasn't sure how much she had in there and she said she stopped writing down every expense in her check book record "when she didn't have to worry about it anymore". So, since she had enough money to not worry, she didn't keep track. Of course, they didn't spend much anyways.
One funny memory was when Dad called the funeral home to tell them the casket choice, the man told him that the particular casket was oversized. And it would require a different concrete box to be buried at the cemetery. Well, this particular box could not be "sealed" and wouldn't necessarily protect the casket, etc. from water or other things coming in. I mean, technically, things should stay out, but they couldn't guarantee it. Well, Dad thought that was silly and they didn't like the other casket choices they were given, so he just told the guy that Pa "could swim" and we weren't worried that the concert box couldn't be sealed.
Molly was also there that afternoon when Dad & I were. It's still tough with Molly; we don't really have a relationship with her and she wasn't interested in re-starting one. I thought she might soften and recently, I had thought maybe we should try again to re-start some kind of relationship. It's tough because we just have a hard time with Kirk. But, when I asked Vic about it, he said he didn't think now was the time and that anytime soon wasn't the time either. It's sad that Molly & I are not really friends and don't talk. But, the history of the last 10 years is a lot to just forget and the fact that she is married to Kirk, who doesn't care a lick about our family since the day he joined doesn't help. Anyways, those are my random thoughts since this is my personal blog that nobody will ever read.
Anyways, we did visit with Melbo and hear some stories. Just this past fall, I had this big plan to come to Aubrey and Sanger one weekend and record and write down lots of stories about Melbo & Pa's lives and Mom & Dad's and GG's. We hear stories, but I forget everything unless written down (hence having a blog to remind me when I'm old and forgetful). Well, I never got down to do it. It makes me especially sad that I never will hear Pa's stories again - hearing them in someone's voice is the best. Anyways, I decided that anything that was told this week, I would try to record. So, I did.
About 3:00 that day (Monday), I went back to Mom & Dad's and headed home. Grace ended up staying with Grandma & Pop. It was a nice drive back to College Station. I listened to Jessica Simpson's recent book on Audio Books while I drove. I never drive by myself, so it was a treat. Although I wish it wasn't for this reason. But, the plan was to come back and bring the little girls back on Wednesday so I could attend visitation. Then, Vic & Atticus would come for a day trip on Thursday. And Dad invited me to stay for a few days. So, then I would keep all 3 girls and stay until Sunday. Originally, Vic & Atticus were headed to the lake for the weekend. That ended up getting cancelled because of stuff Vic needed to do at work. But this was our plan! I"ll do another post about the funeral next.
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